ART BY NEON

SHADOW ON THE WALL

ONE LESS SOLDIER

THE EMBLEM

I AM SAM

SHADOW ON THE WALL II

SOUL SEARCHING

I search the world hoping to find a truth that I can call mine; the NEON truth. I search for my identity. Me writing poetry, me being able to put words to a beat, me being able to make patterns on plain white paper with this black pen, me being able to do what I am able to do; this is I, soul searching. These are the fragments of my truth and they form me, my identity; this identity I prefer to call NEON.

I have seen myself struggle with the reality that I live in, this invisible box I find myself locked in. I have struggled to fit in, to be viewed as ‘normal’ or as ‘cool’ according to society and its so-called norms. I have struggled to gain some sort of recognition among my so-called peers. I have struggled to accept my imperfections. I have done and said things just to be visible to this world.

That is not the truth I’ve been searching for.

This truth has been inside me the whole time. If this is what growing up is all about then, I clearly had taken so many wrong turns. Then again, is it not the beauty of this all? Life, love, hate, friendships, relationships and other ‘ships’ I am yet to discover.

You see, part of my truth is that I am not perfect and I did not come to seek perfection. I am here to live love life however or whatever I will make it. My truth is all but everything I am.

I do not write, draw and rap for no apparent reason. This shit counts for something, this is who and what I am. Either you are against me or with me, that is how it works right?

You see my truth does not require you to accept it or reject it.

They will insult me; drag my name in the mud or whatever. I just want to let them know that either way I cannot be ignored! With that being said, let my poetry, verse and song tell fragments of my story; the story of a shadow in the dark.

INTRODUCING NEON

My existence is no coined incident but of a premeditated purpose nonetheless. Sometime before I was formed I imagine the powers that be were holding a round-table discussion on whether I would come to be. I most probably existed before in another setting, place, alternate universe where I had done some dumb shit. I imagine points both pro and anti were brought forward in what I imagine was one heck of a divine debate.

Well, I imagine a lot went down. Simply put, majority ruled and the minority pissed off at the outcome decided to make me go through the silliest shit, to rain terror on me. Hence the title of this book you have bothered reading up to this sentence. By the time this is published I will either be just another component of Mother Earth or I will be some vegetable being kept alive by some revolutionary life support technology.

This is not meant for public consumption or for your entertainment. This is an account of the life and times of a seemingly weird but cool in one way or the other African dude. There will be a number of anecdotes that will contribute to this intimate tale of mainly misadventure and a few golden memories here and there. Before I go off topic, let me just point out that this book is really meant for my offspring and their offspring to come until my lineage comes to an abrupt end.

In the event that I do not succeed in starting my own lineage then I guess this will go to that one person who will then be on top of my list of beloved folk.

I did not think that writing an autobiography would be this difficult. This must be like the hundredth time I’m attempting this. So I figured I’d just do what I do best. So with that being said I have decided that I will tell my story through poetry and song as that is what I do best.

Before I get into it though let me just shade some light on the name ‘NEON’ just so we stay on the same page (literally). You see, I have undergone a number of name changes in my lifetime. Let’s just say I have had a number of identity crises some of which I might share in this book. I have called myself Osiris, BBV, (forgot what it stood for but anyway…) Jute Rawness, Sam Kash, Sam Kush, Uchiha Sasuke, the Rezident Evol Goon, the Fourth Kind and so on. Gosh, what the hell was I going through? Anyway, you can only imagine what was really happening through all these changes.

Oh yes, before I forget the name ‘NEON’ is an acronym for “Nonconformist Expressions Outrageous Narratives”.

One random night in the year 2011 or 2012 (not so sharp when it comes to remembering stuff) a word crept into my head. This word was neon. After losing a few moments of essential sleep I turned it into an acronym. Initially it stood for “Narcissistic Expressions of Nostalgia”. No, wait actually I believe it was “Nostalgia Elevation, Occasional Nausea”. The latter made no sense whatsoever.

The whole point really of all this is to establish why I am writing this book. Frankly, I do not know why. You see I am nobody famous. I am no revolutionary figure like Che Guevara. I am no legend like Bob Marley. I am no martyr or in the league of Steve Biko or the great Nelson Mandela. I am nobody you know in fact there is no one at this point who can say they really know me. This is a faction of my life story, my struggles, the trifle, the losses, the victories, opportunities both missed and seized, the love, the hate, the joy and depression, and of course, all that came in between.

#Neon